Glass, Naturally Dyed Organza, Quarantine Performance, 2020
This work is a process. It’s been a process and it will always be, a process.
Through the use of botanical metaphor as feminized flora and thus floral feminism- I am reclaiming my identity as a WOMAN.
Brief examples of this theory/history include the use of flowers/ botanicals as subject matter to tell a woman how to act, dress, smell, move, and be more like a flower- as to become more desirable to a man.
We have associated flowers with women's bodies and have for many many years.
Flowers and female subjects are CONSTANTLY exploited through marginalized, patriarchal and capitalist systems.
When I was a child I was molested repeatedly by my nanny’s husband…
I was deflowered.
He took my flower before it had the chance to bloom…
He turned me into and item.
So he could take me.
And when he took my flower, he took my voice too.
He told me never to speak of it..so he could do it again.... to other girls
And so I never spoke of it until my MFA thesis.
I was robbed of my innocence.
I’m fucking pissed.
In “ Blossom Blasphemy” I confront my personal experience with sexual assault.
Starting with my face (identity) covered with torn white strips of organza, (the material of a traditional European wedding veil) I slowly untie the fabric one strip at a time- revealing my under layers of flesh toned fabric. The white fabric is representative of the delivery of a modest and untouched maiden- something I never had the choice to make as a woman because it was taken from be as a girl...
The toned strips become the next layer revealed- one step closer to part of my identity.. A sexual assault victim.
When all the organza has been removed, all that is left is a partially bloomed glass flower, and my intense glare…
The glass flower in my mouth is the flower that asshole took from me 23 years ago.
The use of reclaiming my "deflower" subverts the glass by being perceived as an object part of a spectator-spectacle relationship. This relationship places the flower (representing my femininity and innocence, and beauty) as an item for pleasure in the male subject.
The process is fragile, but I’m taking it back, and I am finding my voice.
I didn't make this because I want you to feel bad for me..
I didn’t make this because I want your support in my trauma.
I made this because I want you to get ANGRY.
I want you to be ANGRY that our running leaders have taken flowers.
I want you to pretend that I am your sister, mother, daughter, best friend.
I want us all to WAKE UP and realize this shit happens to 1 in 5 women
I want you to be angry about the number of flowers that have been stolen.
I want to bloom.